5 Truths That Explain My Laziness
1. Fact. I have learnt that the world is uncomfortable with handling the truth. Instead of telling the whole truth and nothing but the truth, I have often said what can be believed. Today I will let the cat out of the bag and please forgive me if this hurts you. I am poor because I am lazy. I am not sick and I am not stupid.

2. Work. I was very shocked and afraid when I saw Larry Winget's book,"It's Called Work for a Reason". It is then that I realized that the likes of me have been discovered and there is no reason to hide. I discovered two crucial facts about employment. One. I get paid for showing up, not how I much or how hard I work. Two. Fringe benefits, thanks to the union. I get full pay for calling out sick whenever I sneeze on Monday morning. I get full pay for taking 5 personal days off to watch re-runs of football playoffs. I get full pay for going on vacation. For the likes of me, that's irresistible free money.

3. Luck. I am a strong believer that my best chance of crossing the river of misery, poverty and lack is scratching a million dollar lottery ticket. According to statistics, chances of winning at least a million dollars in a lottery are 1 in 18 million while the chances of dating a millionaire are 1 in 215. That means, it is easier for me to date 75,000 millionaires than to win the jackpot. Hhhhmmmm, they say numbers do not lie but i would not like to be a gold digger. It still sounds like doing work. That is why I choose to buy ten one-dollar scratch tickets every week and I will be doing it till my dying day.

4. Meetings. I also discovered very early in my career there is something excluded in my job description that my employer approves of during working hours. You guessed it. Attending meetings. I attend all possible meetings and training sessions in my department. I call for meetings in my office so that I can look busy and also to manouvre myself from responsibilities and to delegate my job to others. I do not hesitate to hold impromptu meetings at the water sprinkler and in the cafeteria. Woe unto you should you smile at me on the hall way. I will find a topic and a reason to follow you like a shadow back to your work place to discuss something.

5. Team Work. The management genius who introduced team work on the job never heard about the likes of me. I let others do the work then share in the team glory. It is for this single reason that you will never find me doing anything alone.My survival tactic is to cheer and praise those doing the hard work.

3 Truths That Explain My Poverty1. Education and Them. I know that going to college will significantly increase my ability to earn more and it will also increase the number of jobs that I can apply for. However, I prefer to work 45 years doing low-paying odd jobs instead of going to college for 5 years and working 40 years on a high paying professional job. Why don't I go to school if I am sharp enough to know this? They say the higher you go up the corporate ladder, the harder it is to hide among the crowd. And you lose the protection of the workers' union. They also say reading is harder than manual work and it gives you white hair prematurely. Somehow, I always find it easier to listen to "them" instead of myself or the others.

2. Reason and Religion. I would never accept to be an atheist. I find in divinity and theology a veil to hide my laziness and justify my poverty to those who do not know the truth. "The poor will always be with us," said Jesus, the great teacher. I know He did not specifically declare that I am the one who will remain poor throughout the ages, but i choose to interpret scripture conveniently. Reincarnation. This is even more interesting. Reason 1. I am poor because I was a bad person in my earlier life. Therefore I should patiently endure misery in this life as fitting punishment. Reason 2. May be in my previous life I was a good dog that didn't do bad things, like chasing and biting the neighbors kids. Therefore I am lucky to be born a human being. However, I have to start at ground zero on the wealth and richness scale and slowly work my way up - in several lifetimes. Either way, there is no hurry to do anything.

3. Ponzi, Madoff and Pyramid Schemes. Due to my affinity for easy and quick cash and my endearing propensity to avoid real work, I have fallen for and wasted my savings on all manner of get-rich-quick scams. My greed for easy money and instant riches far surpasses my fear of dying poor. Any small amount of spare change that I do not gamble on the lottery, I have willingly given it away to some fraudulent schemer. I do not regret being poor today. If I had a million dollars last year, for sure I would have entrusted Madoff with all of it, so today I would be reeling on ground zero. You may wonder why i haven't learnt my lesson. Didn't I mention that learning is a job - a hard job?


3 Ways I Manage To Escape Blame1. Politics and Friendliness. Simply put, I am a master of the game. I know how to play corporate politics to the letter. I am the most likeable person in the whole company. I appear at all company functions as long as I am not equired to do real work. I am also very careful about those non-sensical things that bosses care so much about yet they mean nothing. Like arriving on time at work and at meetings and being the last to leave the parking lot. I have also memorized the birthdays of all bosses and their immediate families. Not to mention that I always send each one of them a card, thanks to the dollar store that sells 20 cards for a dollar. My boss would never dream of firing me - the whole company would revolt. I am such a nice guy that no one really questions what i really do.

2. Sickness and Laziness. For some reason my doctor does not recognize laziness as a form of sickness. During my last physical examination, he did all the tests and blood work and declared I was as fit as a fiddle. But i decided to disclose the truth and informed him that I am very lazy. He quickly looked at my file then calmly acknowledged, "But I see you have a job". "Yes, doctor but I am all the same lazy and I avoid work as much as possible," I insisted. For some reason he decided not to pursue the matter further. I guessed there was no recommended prescription for laziness that my insurance would pay or probably my doctor thought I go to my job to work and my comment was inteded to be a joke.

3. Politicians, the Rich and everything else. For some reason I cannot fathom, when causes of poverty are discussed, laziness never shows up on the agenda. People are quick to blame poor schooling, low-paying jobs and drug abuse. At another level, these causes are presumed as a direct consequence of the politicians in government or the wealthy people owning the businesses. The buck keeps passing over my head yet I know the real reason for my poor state is sheer laziness. And I am not alone!

Where Were You in 2008? The beginning of a year has a monumental significance in your life. It is a time to reflect on the events of the past year, shedding a tear or two for the people and things we lost yet managing to smile for the good memories you hold dear. More importantly, the start of a new year is a time to set new goals, conjure up new aspirations and expect the best of luck in the coming months.

What we often forget is that we bring into 2009 the same habits and attitudes of 2008. We must therefore start by examining our habittudes (habits and attitudes in short) towards money. Then accept to take corrective action where necessary.

By looking at how you earned money in 2008 and how you spent, saved and invested it, you will get a simple and quick insight into your habittudes towards money. Please go ahead and answer the following 7 questions.

Q1. How did you earn money in 2008? 1a) Employment 1b) Business/self-employment 1c) Investments

Q2. How did you spend money in 2008 on Priority One items 2a) Savings 2b) Investments 2c) Insurance 2d) Personal Development 2e) Taxation

Q3. How did you spend money in 2008 on Priority Two items 3a) Fixed expenses e.g. Rent, Minimum debt payments, Utilities

Q4. How did you spend money in 2008 on Priority Three items 4a) Entertainment, Donations, Travel, Vacation, Parties

Q5. How much new debt did you acquire? How much new debt was for assets, investment, business or personal development?

Q6. How much in assets do you own? 6a) House, investments, land etc

Q7. How much in liabilities do you owe? 7a) Mortgage, Consumer debt, Other debt etc